Do you remember the sense of peace you felt during the pandemic when you could set boundaries with others and focus on your own needs? Many people feel confused or guilty when they say their mental health improved during that time. While they acknowledge the challenges the world faced, they found comfort in being able to establish clear boundaries more easily. Understanding why this was so can help us carry these lessons forward, allowing us to continue prioritizing our well-being and maintaining healthy boundaries in our daily lives.

Social Norms Changed

During the pandemic, it became a shared belief that personal space and safety were important. Saying no to family events, gatherings, or visits wasn’t just okay—it was seen as the responsible thing to do. Instead of being judged for setting boundaries, people were respected for looking after their own health and protecting others. This change made it easier to say no without feeling guilty or worried about what others might think.

Someone Else Set The Boundary

After all, it wasn’t really you saying no; it was the CDC saying no. The advice from health experts like the CDC gave people a clear, valid reason to set boundaries without feeling guilty. With their guidance, it was easier to follow the rules and avoid conflict, rather than having to explain personal choices or worry about disappointing anyone. You might have even said, "Oh, if it were up to me, I’d totally come, but the COVID numbers are really high, and we should all stay safe." While you probably believed it, there was also a sense of relief in having a legitimate reason to skip the gathering rather than it “just” being a personal preference.

Boundaries Were Clearly Stated

It became a norm to discuss what level of interaction and amount of time felt okay for you. Before visiting, you would say, "Okay, let’s get together outside in the yard to visit, but we will not be staying to eat with everyone." While you may have gotten some pushback, you knew that others in the world were holding the same boundaries with their families, and this mutual understanding helped make the situation feel more manageable.

Increased Focus on Personal Health and Well-being

With health concerns on everyone's mind, many people felt more able to focus on their own mental and physical well-being. People also began to pay more attention to things that harmed their immune system, like stress. It became clear that constant stress could weaken the immune system and increase the chances of getting sick. This made it easier for people to set boundaries without worrying about being judged, as family members were more understanding of personal limits.

Virtual Communication

There was a boom in the use of video chatting during the pandemic. If we didn’t feel comfortable seeing someone face-to-face, we could easily video chat with them. We no longer had to leave the comfort of our homes, deal with the stress of a long drive, or cope with being at someone else’s house. All we had to do was click a button to connect, and just as easily hang up and return to our own space. This new way of connecting made socializing more convenient and less stressful, allowing us to maintain relationships without compromising our personal comfort.

Fewer External Expectations

With fewer gatherings and events, there was less pressure to follow family traditions or meet expectations. The old reasons, like “We always have Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house,” didn’t seem as important anymore. This gave families the chance to set new boundaries and create their own traditions that worked better for them.

Isolation as a Social Norm

It was suddenly okay to be home alone on the weekends, and people no longer felt the need to explain or justify their decision to stay in. The pressure to fill every moment with social plans or activities seemed to vanish, as more people began to embrace the idea of quiet, restful weekends. Saying you just stayed home and watched Netflix for the weekend became a perfectly acceptable answer. With the fast-paced demands of everyday life slowed down, many realized that taking time for themselves and enjoying solitude was not only okay, but also necessary for their well-being.

We Don’t Need A Pandemic To Set Boundaries!

While it may feel easier to say no when someone else sets the boundary for you, I assure you that you can do it on your own. Although it might seem harder to say no simply because you don’t want to do something, that is a valid reason. It’s okay if others don’t understand or accept your decision—your boundaries are yours to set. You have the right to clearly state what you are willing and not willing to do, and if those boundaries are crossed, you have the right to walk away, just as you did during the pandemic. Your mental and physical health matter.