I’m Autistic, Now What???

Written By Christine Henry
woman smiling at camera with peace signs

After tons of research and/or hours of testing you figured out that you are autistic. It has taken a lot of time and energy to arrive at this place. You feel a mix of emotions from joy, excitement, validation, sadness, anger, and grief.

You are now asking yourself, “Now what???”

You feel lost with what you do with this new identity. The way you viewed yourself and the world around you has suddenly changed. It’s okay to feel a little overwhelmed, however, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Here is a list of common things autism to process in therapy after receiving the diagnosis as well as links to further information.  Together, we go step by step (in no particular order) in understanding how to process this new lens.

The main tasks in this process include :

  1. Make meaning of this new identity

  2. Re-examine your past knowing you were autistic and see how that changes your narrative

  3. Gain knowledge about how being autistic impacts how you experience the world around you

  4. Learn how to communicate being autistic to others as well as set boundaries

  5. Discover how to have more satisfying relationships

Once you have this new level of understanding you can find ways for the world to better fit you instead of pressuring yourself to fit into a neurotypical world. You will understand why some tasks or situations have always been difficult for you as well as finding strategies on how to “hack your brain.” After working through this process you may find that your anxiety and depressive symptoms significantly reduce. I promise this is worth it! If you get overwhelmed in going through this list stop and walk away from it. It is okay to stop and take a break. Come back when you have the energy and head space.

For a more extensive resource list which includes articles, blogs, and videos visit the main resource page: https://therapyforpetpeople.com/resources-for-neurodivergence

  1. Processing The Identity

You may have gone into a deep dive about autism and after your research felt that finally you had some answers. Things started to make some sense. However, doubt starts to creep in. “Perhaps I over exaggerated on the tests,” “Maybe the therapist who tested me was not competent,” “Maybe my family is correct that I am not autistic.” It is okay to have some doubts in being autistic. Here are some articles explaining how people process this new identity.

2. Unmasking

unmasking autism.

Another task is to understand ways you may have tried to hide your autistic traits. Unmasking is where you slowly allow yourself and those around you to see the authentic you. While this may sound like an easy process, it is not.

Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Oh My…..

You may have been in therapy many times in the past working on anxiety, depression, and trauma. While these things often can co-occur, it can be helpful to understand what parts are autism and what parts are depression, anxiety, or trauma. For instance,  what we *think* is depression, can be autistic burnout which is treated in a different way compared to if it is depression.  For instance, if you are depressed, a therapist may suggest going out in the sun, reaching out to friends to socialize, increasing physical activity. However, if it is burnout, a better approach would be to close all the curtains in your room, get a weighted blanket on, and stay away from people. A therapist can help you process these differences and similarities as it can be difficult to tease apart what is what.

Glasses off sleeping in bed.
autism and anxiety.

Autism and Anxiety

Autism in the Context of Trauma

It can be helpful to re-explore your childhood in this new context of being neurodivergent. You may feel that you have already explored your past childhood issues, however,  your understanding of past social situations and relationships can change with this new lens.

Learning Your Sensory Needs and How to Listen to Them

autism and sensory issues.

One cause of anxiety and depressive symptoms can be sensory overload. It may sound simple, but taking care of your sensory needs can have a huge impact on mental health. A neurodivergent affirming therapist can help you learn about what sensory sensitivities you may have, as well as, provide information on how to accommodate them. Having this sensory focus can also help you cope with emotions and learn ways to self-regulate.

4. Identify Your Emotions and Communicate Them

While you may be deeply in tune with the emotions of others, you may have difficulty in identifying your own emotions or body sensations. How often do you forget to eat and do not even realize you are hungry? Often when people ask, “How are you feeling?” you may not have a clue. What can also be frustrating is that when you do know how you are feeling it is hard to communicate that to others. Here are articles that address these concerns.

Communication Styles 

**Great information to pass on to friends, family, or coworkers

People often misperceive our communication styles. We can be viewed as too blunt, direct, cold, or lacking in empathy. These articles provide information for people to better understand our communication style. What can be frustrating, is that for most of our lives we are taught how to speak “neurotypical” and little time is given to teach neurotypicals how to speak our language. Send these articles to friends, family, coworkers and consider this their introductory course in neurodivergent communication.

5. Navigating Your Relationship with Others

autistic relationships.

Should I, and How do I, Come Out to Others?

After learning about your autism, you may wonder how to “come out” to friends, family, and coworkers. There are lots of pros and cons in doing so. These articles provide some insight into this dilemma as well as strategies on how to disclose this new identity. 

Talking at a table.
Woman showing another woman information on a computer
Dr. Henry in Neurodiversity shirt.

As you can see, there are so many things to process after receiving an autism diagnosis. While you can do this work on your own, it may be helpful for a neurodivergent affirming therapist to walk alongside you on this journey. Along the way, we can provide information, resources, and support as you navigate this new neurodivergent world.

Feel free to contact me so we can chat about your goals, I can share about my therapy style, and we can see if working together would be a good fit.

Being a neurodivergent therapist, it has been an honor to support clients through this process as I know how much it has not only dramatically changed my life being late diagnosed but also the lives of my husband, son, and daughter in understanding their own neurotypes. While it may seem overwhelming at first, I promise it does get better. With this new knowledge you will be able to build a life that works for you instead of feeling pressure to fit in a model that doesn’t.

Dr. Christine Henry is a neurodivergent licensed psychologist specializing in working with late identified adult adhd and autism. She also works with clients processing complex trauma, grief, and spiritual abuse.

Christine Henry
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